Four toilet paper nightmares (and how to survive them)
We love Halloween at Naked Sprout. Recently our team were discussing their favourite spooky stories - Tom is haunted by Paranormal Activity, Pippy still hasn't fully recovered from a trip to see The Woman in Black at school, and don’t even talk to Rosie about The Blair Witch Project.
As toilet paper suppliers, it got us thinking about one realm of horror that even the bravest among us dread: a tissue nightmare. So for a spooky and very silly Halloween edition of our blog we’re covering those moments when the toilet paper situation takes a terrifying turn, along with some tips for surviving them.
1. Your house Gets TP'd by Halloween pranksters
This isn’t really a concern in the UK, but if you’ve spent enough time watching Halloween films and TV shows set in America you may have noticed references to houses getting “TP’d” or “toilet papered”.
This dreaded prank puts the soft, lightweight, and long properties of toilet paper to mischievous uses, as young people up to no good throw toilet rolls through the air, leaving trails of tissue covering trees, fences, and even houses.
But do people really toilet paper houses? Fans of the 2001 sci-fi horror Donnie Darko might remember an tense exchange between the teenage hero Donnie and his mother Rose, as she asks him if he was responsible for a recent TP prank on his neighbour. Donnie angrily replies that he grew out of this kind of mischief making years ago, and it seems he isn’t alone. Though TP-ing might be a rite of passage for pranksters in American movies, it’s less common these days, and practically unheard of in the UK, where our terraced housing, smaller front gardens, and blocks of flats would foil all but the most athletic throwers.
Still, should you fall victim to a rogue Halloween TP attack, here’s how to handle it.
Solution: keep calm and knock it off
So how should you deal with a TP'd house? The first rule is stay calm.
It might look like your house is an extra from Curse of the Mummy's Tomb but if the toilet paper is dry it should be simple to remove with some thoughtful tugging, and the mis-used sheets can go straight into your recycling if you can’t find any use for them around the house. For higher strands, a broomstick or rake can help gently remove the paper from tall branches.
But don’t be tempted by the hose! It might seem like a good jet of water would simply blast toilet paper from a house, or a tree, or a fence, but the idea here is to keep it dry. Toilet tissue is specifically designed to dissolve easily in water - soaking the unwanted decoration is just going to leave you with a big goopy mess.
2. Running out of toilet paper
You’ve had more than your quota of Halloween sweets, settled in for some spooky films, and now it’s time for a trip to the loo. But as you reach for the roll, your heart sinks - your hand isn’t met with the soft toilet tissue you were expecting but the hard, unabsorbent cardboard core.
No backup roll, no tissues in sight, and no immediate rescue.
Solution: be prepared
Avoiding the panic of empty roll syndrome is all about prevention. If you have a toilet paper subscription (like many of our customers), your rolls should be there when you need it, where you need it, with next day delivery!.
But it never hurts to keep an emergency roll in a nearby spot under the sink or on top of the medicine cabinet. If you’re really feeling fancy, you could wrap the roll in a colourful crochet cosy, keeping it as a decorative element of the bathroom so you always have it to hand in a pinch!
And if there’s no roll available you might just have to muster up the courage to call for help, or send a discreet text if there's someone around who could help. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. Instead of an embarrassing predicament, think of it as giving your friends and family, or a random stranger, the chance to be a toilet roll delivery hero.
3. Stepping out with toilet paper on your shoe
You’ve survived the bathroom, washed your hands, and are walking out with confidence - until someone looks pointedly in the direction of your shoe, and you look down to see a tail of toilet paper following you like a loyal but embarrassing ghost.
This haunting can happen to anyone and it is especially terrifying in public.
Solution: check, shuffle, and stroll
First things first: before you exit the bathroom, do a quick “zombie shuffle”. Shift around a bit, check your shoes, and make sure nothing’s hitching a ride. This is particularly important in public toilets, where toilet roll can often find its way onto the floor, making a hazardous exit for unwary visitors.
And if the tissue ghost does follow you out? You’re going to have to laugh and embrace it - it’s not the end of the world. Better still, if the ghost happens to be made from our own Naked Sprout toilet paper it’s eco-friendly and has no harsh chemicals, making it a haunting to be proud of!
4. Your guest is a die-hard fan of eco toilet paper and all your rolls are bleached
Okay, this one is a bit specific to people who are friends with a Naked Sprout customer or a member of our team.
Your friend or family member is proud of their toilet paper. Scarily proud, you might say. Every time you speak to them they’re ranting about low carbon production methods, water-saving measures, and efficient transport.
It’s honestly a bit strange, but you’re an open-minded soul so you don’t let it get in the way of your friendship. In fact, you’ve invited them round for dinner and - oh no.
As you check the bathroom, you realise you’ve only got white, bleached, standard toilet rolls in stock.
Your rolls are so pale they look like they’ve seen a ghost, and now so do you. Will your guest be horrified? Will they judge your toilet paper choices forever?
Solution: slow your roll
Before you get to staining your white toilet paper with tea or going to gather dock leaves in the deep dark woods… take a deep breath.
We’d love to see our distinctive, unbleached, coffee coloured toilet rolls in everyone’s bathroom, but we accept we’re not quite there yet.
There are a million things, from bleached tea bags to microplastics in wet wipes for eco-conscious shoppers to consider, and everyone is picking up new habits in their own ways, at their own pace. But we’ll take the opportunity to give a huge Halloween shout out to our customers who are spreading the word and sneaking our tissue products into public loos and everyday conversations!
And if you find yourself wondering what all the fuss is about, why not take a walk (or roll) on the unbleached side and join usssss…..
Conclusion: surviving in style
That’s our roundup of things that go boo in your loo.
Halloween brings ghosts, goblins, ghoulies, but with a bit of creativity no toilet paper nightmare is too much to handle. Remember, the real jump-scares are the forever chemicals, fossil fuels used for drying tissue, and buckets of bleach that sneak into the production lines of standard toilet paper.
(you can breathe easy, because Naked Sprout doesn’t have any of these!)
Here’s to a soft, sustainable spooky season! 🎃🧻
Want to try an affordable eco toilet paper that says boo to the standard?